How to Woo a Warlock

Asylum recently posted an interview with The Guild's Felicia Day on how to pick up women in WoW.

I decided this needed to be taken one step further. Frijona is perpetually single in the game, partly due to me not wanting to involve myself in anything remotely potentially ERP (that's Erotic RolePlay) related, and partly because I know that Frijona is way too fussy to ever be able to find anyone that would fit her specifications, which are as follows:

1. You must be a human. Fri doesn’t want a partner who will live longer than she will, or that she’s significantly taller than.
2. You must be male.
3. Preferably, your hair is in a ponytail. This is because this is the only attractive human male hairstyle in the game. And yes, the new belf ponytail will work as well. It’s also best if it’s dark brown or black, with no facial hair.
4. You must use magic, or at least know a little, but you may not be a paladin or a holy priest, because there will likely be a conflict of ideals. Frijona does not trust other warlocks to maintain clear-headdedness, so no warlocks. While she respects the mages of her guild, she still sees them as weak and would not want to engage in a romantic relationship with one. This basically leaves shadow priests.
5. You must never eat around her, or at least be very conscious of what you do eat, sticking to small portions of fruits and vegetables. You must never suggest that she eat something or comment on her thinness.
6. Flowers are nice, but Frijona prefers those with powerful alchemical properties. Unique, potentially magical items would be a better gift.
7. Never ask to visit Fri’s apartment. It’s full of junk, anyway.
8. You must not have mindless hatred of the Horde. If you have real reasons for wanting to go to war with them, that might be acceptable.
9. You must respect the fact that Frijona does not appreciate physical contact from others.

And finally…

10. You must not succumb to any flirtations made by Jhorneth (Frijona’s succubus). It is best if you ignore Jho when she is around.

1 comment

Birdfall said...

Poor guy. He'll want a haircut or a steak or some hand-holding and she'll smush him!

My brother and his wife have a love-hate relationship with their characters. Hers is a blood elf mage woman who is "scary." His is a "sadistic" undead male warlock. They have a twisted unspoken interest in each other, expressed through cruelty and the occasional /flirt.

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